Repentance: True or False?

Repentance may be one of the most important biblical concepts that we have a hard time understanding. That's because what often appears to be repentance only later proves to be nothing of the sort. We often settle for the false repentance of remorse and resolution rather than biblical repentance. But what a difference there is between the two.  

Remorse vs. Realization

What is the difference between true and false repentance? First, false repentance begins with remorse while true repentance begins with realization. Remorse comes when we assume our actions were out of character, that the sin we have committed is in no way an indicator of who we really are. But true repentance comes only when we realize that the reason we sinned is precisely because that’s who we are—sinners. 

Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, in a sermon called, “Wandering from the Highway,” gives some helpful guidance in understanding the differences between true and false repentance. He said that true repentance comes when we have a deep awareness of our sin, not just a superficial feeling of being uncomfortable or embarrassed. The sinner realizes the horror of the fact that he, as a sinner, is capable of such acts. If we could really see our sin in the eyes of God, said Lloyd-Jones, we would abominate ourselves. 

The pathway to true repentance then begins when we come to see the sin that we have committed as sin; that is, something evil, detestable, and abominable. If you see your sin as sin you will naturally hate it. If you do not hate your sin, you don’t really see it as sin. A mistake, inconvenience, or a failure, maybe, but not a sin. 

That’s why the Scripture tells us that if we will confess our sin, God will faithfully forgive us (1 John 1:9). Confessing our sin does not mean telling God something that he does not yet know. It means agreeing with God in his perception and judgment of our sin. It means seeing our sin the way God sees it and therefore despising it. As long as we only feel remorse over our sin we will not be able to confess it as sin but merely as a mistake that we think we can overcome on our own. That moves us to the next step in false repentance. 

Resolution vs. Repentance

False repentance moves from remorse to resolution. Perhaps the sinner hates the effect his sin has had on himself and others he cares about. He really is sorry his sin has caused so much hurt. He never wants it to happen again. He takes time to repair the wounds he has caused. He resolves to never commit that sin again. Why isn’t that true repentance? 

Of course one who truly repents may take similar steps of restoration. But the difference between resolution and repentance concerns who the sinner turns to for change. When we choose resolution we are choosing to attempt to change ourselves. When we opt for repentance, we are yielding to God and his power to transform us. 

The one who truly repents often does so after he realizes he cannot simply resolve to change himself. To borrow from Lloyd-Jones again, a man finally sees the folly of struggling against God and his holy way. Like a horse submitting to his rider instead of being chastised, he finally decides to yield to God and to be controlled by him.

Repentance is submitting to God, having seen the folly of your sinfulness. A man is not truly conscious of his sin and his utter hopelessness until he sees that he cannot in a final sense do anything about it. The sinner realizes the depth of his sin and comes to see God as his only hope. 

No Chance to Repent

To summarize, there can be no true repentance without embracing the gospel because repentance is submitting to God’s control and receiving his righteousness rather than trusting in your own ability to deliver you from your sinful choices. Unless we repent, our only other option will be to feel remorse and resolve to do better next time. 

But this cycle of remorse and resolution is a dangerous path to go down, for Christian and non-Christian alike. This seems to be what Hebrews 12:15 calls “failing to obtain the grace of God.” The more we refuse his grace the harder it will be for us to ever truly repent. We will convince ourselves that we hold the key to solving our problems. Though frustrated that all our efforts fail, it will never occur to us to repent and receive God’s grace. We will be like Esau, who, “when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears” (Heb 12:17). 

So repentance should not be our last option to be employed only when we grow weary of resolving to change ourselves. Rather, repentance should be our ongoing practice. As we continually grow in the realization of the depths of our sinfulness, we will see how glorious God’s grace and forgiveness is and embrace him and his righteousness rather than resolving to create our own.